


4 Wheels, 2 Fools

by pinkpolkadots



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 5 Times, Fluff, M/M, Oneshot, Sort of canon timeline, Van - Freeform, Vehicles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-14 22:05:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7192664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkpolkadots/pseuds/pinkpolkadots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The five times Raphael Finds himself in Simon's van.</p><p>---<br/>Takes place before the season one finale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	4 Wheels, 2 Fools

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This ideas been bugging me for a bit, I like the thought of Simon with his band van while all of the othe Vampires use their demon bikes. 
> 
> The timeline isn't perfect, but this is fiction written about fiction so bare that in mind!
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you like it!

-1-

Simon loved his van, and no one in the clan was going to convince him to switch over to those stupid bikes. His van had been with him through everything. His Baby fit the stuff he still occasionally carried for gigs comfortably, and most importantly it pissed Raphael off.

Each time Raphael saw the obnoxiously bright van pull up he made the face. The look of distaste you might see on one of those annoyingly attractive high class snobs. The bridge of his nose scrunches a little, and his lips pouted just slightly. The look clearly said I disapprove, but I'm to important to say anything about it.

The look always managed to put a little extra pep in Simon's step. 

Currently Clary was with Simon repainting his van so it matched the bands current name; Lawn Chair Crisis. Simon knew it wasn't permanent, but he really didn't care. 

Clary was about halfway through when Raphael appeared. "Do you have to do that in front of my hotel?" He asked. He wasn't fond of the strong smell of paint fumes, and the florescent green Clary was currently using gave him a headache.

"It's not like you ever actually take in any customers," Simon dismissed, because really, who was Raphael trying to kid.

"Well it's not like we can let just anyone inside," Raphael argued.

"Then make it a down worlder hotel, it's not like we don't have the room," Simon pointed out. It had been something that had bothered him, the werewolves actually served food and delivered at the Jade Wolf. Here at Hotel Du Mort no one was even all that hospitable until he had become a member of the clan.

"Can you just paint that somewhere else?" Raphael asked the look passing quickly over his face.

"Do you have a problem with my baby?" Simon asked reaching out and running his hand over the hood that hadn't been repainted yet.

"Dios, are you really that guy?" Raphael asked taking a step towards Simon. Simon suddenly felt a little self conscious, Raphael had mastered the art of making Simon feel like he was under a magnifying glass.

"Like you can judge, all of you dumb vampires are oddly protective of your stupid bikes," Simon pointed out. And since he wasn't a coward, (or at least he was telling himself he wasn't right now) he took a step toward Raphael, meeting his eyes in challenge.

Raphael took another step. "You do realize you're a 'dumb vampire,' right?" Raphael asked sounding amused, his eyes never leaving Simons.

Simon took a step. "I may be a 'vampire' but I am certainly not dumb," Simon shot back.

Suddenly Raphael was cut off by the sound of spray paint hitting Simon's beloved van as Clary decided she no longer needed to watch her best friend and his clan leader pollute the air with UST. 

Simon suddenly realized he was standing nearly nose to nose with the cocky vampire who still hasn't moved yet. 

"So, are you just gonna stand here and admire my van, she is a beauty," Simon said putting some space between them. Raphael quickly disappeared a second later.

"It certainly wasn't your van he was checking out," Clary teased as she got back to work.

-2-

As Raphael's personal assistant of sorts It was a given Simon was going to have to drive him around sooner or later. 

Technically they could run but they were currently bringing Magnus some of Camille's old stuff unsure what would and would not still be of any use.

"Your van stinks," Raphael said. Simon wanted to laugh at him, the older vampire looked like he was afraid to touch anything in the van as if it carried some disease that could potentially be a threat to an immortal vampire.

Simon was loving every second he got to watch Raphael squirm uncomfortably in the passenger seat, he was so used to being the useless fledgling that this made him feel oddly powerful.

"Then roll down your window," Simon said with a roll of his eyes.

Simon couldn't help but think of what a drama queen Raphael was as he looked at the crank that would lower the window as if it might bite him, then slowly reached out and started to turn it. He carefully made sure nothing but his finger tips touched it before it got stuck. 

"Oh that happens, just jiggle it a little," Simon assured him. The face Raphael made told Simon that was not the answer he wanted to hear.

By the time the pair had pulled up Raphael had given up on the window. In the meantime, the odd graffitied broccoli and fish; (as the band had changed it's name to the Sea Vegetable Conspiracy) had earned them quite a few odd looks and a couple people even honked. Which Raphael noticed Simon had seemed to enjoy. Each time it happened the boy would smile to himself as he was just complimented, when it happened while waiting at a red light he had yelled back the time and location of their next show. Raphael slid down in his seat, trying his best to remain unaffiliated with the fledgling. 

"I am never riding in this God forsaken van again," Raphael grumbled unbuckling his seatbelt in haste.

-3-

Raphael was in the van with him again. This time Raphael had resigned to using the van because Elliott had been injured. 

Raphael had made the mistake of listening to Simon, again. Raphael had been so determined to turn Simon's request down. Simon wanted the clan to help the Garroway pack deal with a trespassing rouge pack. Raphael didn't see how it effected them, and had they been in a similar situation he doubted the wolves would bat an eyelash.

The point was the second the word 'no' had passed Raphael's lips Simon started threatening. What he was threatening Raphael had no idea, he had honestly stopped listening. All he knew was he never wanted to see that look of disappointment on Simon's face again. 

Now the pack was gone, but they had managed to stake Elliott. Not through the heart so he'd live, but it would still take him awhile to heal. So at the moment they had a vampire incapable of running without worsening his condition, and in no position to ride his bike.

"Everything okay back there?" Simon asked from the drivers seat. He had no desire to wash blood out of his back seats, but the clan needed him (or at least he was pretending they needed him and not just his vehicle) which never happened. 

"I already told you he'll be fine," Lily said with a roll of her eyes. 

"And sadly so will your van," Raphael added from the passenger seat. 

"You've got a soft spot for her don't lie," Simon said, trying his best to focus on the road in front of him and not the person beside him.

Raphael rolled his eyes.

"It's okay baby, he means well," Simon assured his van runing his hand over the dashboard and patting it gently. Raphael's laugh echoed through van (he might have been a little jealous of a piece of junk human vehicle...) and for a second Simon found himself stunned. The last time he had heard that laugh he'd been a human and he had just thrown a knife at Raphael. Which thinking back he still didn't know how he'd landed that throw so perfectly, if only his stupid third grade gym teacher could see him then. 

"You okay Raph?" Lily asked amused.

"I'm great," Raphael said his voice returning to its usual collected self, and the people in the back couldn't see it, but Simon could see the small smile stretched across his face.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm glad everyone's having a good time," Elliott wheezed.

-4-

Simon had enjoyed Alec and Lydia's wedding. He honestly wasn't all too sure if he could call it that after that epic kiss between Alec and Magnus, and there's the fact that no actually marriage that took place. 

After that things sort of got chaotic for a bit as some traditional shadow hunters left and so on. In the end Alec and Magnus disappeared (probably to Magnus' apartment), the lightwood parents went off to sulk (and probably plan a lecture), Jace went off to sulk as well (he'd spent every second he thought Clary wasn't looking at him staring at her like a kicked puppy). That left Simon, Izzy, and Clary. 

At one point or another after that Izzy decided that to distract Clary from the reality of her newfound brother, they would steal a couple bottles of alcohol that would now be otherwise going to waste. What Izzy didn't tell Simon was that shadow hunter alcohol could get down worlders drunk. What Izzy didn't know was that Clary and Simon were both lightweights. They had stolen a bottle from Simon's mother in their teens and both ended up wasted and soon after in a lot of trouble.

Needless to say by about midnight Clary was passed out, Izzy was bored, and Simon was in no condition to get home. Especially considering if he managed to pass out outside, which was a possibility, who knows where he'd go when the sun came up.

[to Raphael]: Cn u pik mee up frm th insitoote? 2 drunc 2 drive.

Simon sent it, he was pretty sure his fingers had hit all of the wrong buttons, he hoped Raphael could read it and was feeling generous. 

15 minutes later Raphael pulled up in Simon's van. "Dios, how much did you drink?" Raphael asked ushering Simon into the passenger seat. 

"You're driving my van," Simon said with a large smile.

"I figured you would probably fall off of a bike, and I now see I would have been right," Raphael said as he scanned Simon who swayed to the music playing in his head with a disapproving look. 

"Why are you doing that?" Simon asked. "I don't like it when you do that," Simon added drawing his eyebrows together as Raphael went to start driving. 

"What?" Raphael asked impatiently stoping what he was doing, the van still parked in front of the institute. 

"That frowns thing, I like it better when you smile," Simon said nodding to himself.

"Do you?"

"Yeah, you've got a cute smile," Simon said. "There it is!" Simon exclaimed poking Raphael's cheek. Suddenly it was gone and Simon frowned. 

Raphael started the car and drove them back to the hotel. By the time they got there Simon was passed out and Raphael carried Simon to his room, tucking him in. Tucking Simon in. Raphael wasn't sure why his brain was stuck on that, wasnt sure why his eyes lingered on a sleeping Simon's face (he knew why). Raphael shook his head at his inner monologue, he was a clan leader and he didn't have time for this. Then he finally heading to his office so he could get a little bit more work done before daylight. 

But not before taking in the sight of the fledgling still wrapped in Raphael's suit, it was going to need dry cleaning. Simon had spilled alcohol down the front at some point and it was beyond wrinkled.

Raphael found that he didn't care.

-5-

Two nights later Simon and Raphael were driving Elliott over to get checked out by Magnus to make sure everything looked normal. 

Elliott could walk on his own now, but all of the clan were taking extra precautions because it was kind of like having a human around again. 

Elliott had insisted Raphael and Simon waited in the van, probably because he was feeling a little bit crowded. Simon was kind of babying him (the clan had started to refer to the leader's assistant as Mom behind their back) and Raphael wasn't much better. 

"I forgot to say thank you for last night," Simon said.

"No problem, I learned that you think I'm cute," Raphael teased, rather smug. Pushing Simon a little knowing he had only said his smile was cute.

"I told you that?" Simon asked blushing. "Please tell me I didn't try and do anything," Simon said sounding embarrassed.

"Like kiss me?" Raphael asked. He knew he was being cruel, Simon had been drunk and now Raphael was teasing him because he couldn't remember.

"I didn't, did I?" Simon asked. Raphael kept his face carefully blank and nodded. 

Suddenly Raphael's head was in Simon's hands as he pulled him in for a kiss. To Simon's surprise Raphael kissed him back.

"Nope, I would have remembered that," Simon said with a smile. 

"Shut up," Raphael said pulling Simon back in for another kiss. 

"Still hate the van?" Simon asked patting the dashboard.

Outside Elliot was approaching the van, until he saw... (we all know what he saw) and he swiftly, at vampire speed, darted back upstairs to see Magnus again. Maybe there was a spell Magnus knew that could erase that particular memory.


End file.
